...To David Petraeus' Quitting Being The CIA Director Over Cheating On His Wife

This is even more proof positive that David Petraeus is a LOSER!  The first proof was that he chose to work for Obama in the first place.  Quitting his job just because he took his reward as a leader of men is even more proof that he was, is, and always shall be a LOSER!  You think that I, the richest and most awesome man in the quantum multiverse, let something as piss-ant as the adultery laws stand between me and my appetites?  I was cheating on both Ivana and Marla Maples when I was married to them, and I'm cheating on Melania as I type this!  And once I dump Melania for another wife, I'll cheat on her too!  You don't see me resigning from my company over that!  Good riddance to that LOSER!

...To Obama Getting Reelected To A Second Term As President

How can you LOSERS! not vote Mitt Romney into the Oval Office!?  Sure, he was a Zelig-class stiff who came across as more than willing to sell his own grandmother and all of his grandchildren to sex traffickers in exchange for five more electoral votes, but he was a rich man, Goddammit!  Rich men are supposed to run things in this country with impunity, not some upstart who just happened to give the order to hunt down and summarily execute the FBI's #1 Most Wanted for the crime of murdering 3000 Americans on 9/11!  We create jobs by hiring maids and chauffeurs and car elevator operators and prostitutes!

I tell you, it's time for a revolution in this country!  The richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse should be allowed to do as he pleases because he's rich, and not because 50%+1 of the populace said some other guy should run the show!  You're all LOSERS!

...To Mitt Romney Saying That 47% Of Potential Voters Are Government-Dependent Victims

More and more these days I start to think that I should jump back into the race for President because of this LOSER! Mitt Romney.  Of course anybody who doesn't pay income taxes is a government-dependent victim, but we don't go saying this!  Take a look at me: I don't pay any income taxes thanks to creative accounting and the fact that every business I own fails to turn a profit, I can't keep the poors from breaking into my various mansions to steal all my gold and jewels without the police department, and I'm constantly being tormented by LOSERS! like Seth Myers and David Letterman and Jon Stewart!  It'll be a miracle if Mitt Romney wins any state other than Utah at this rate!

,,,To The Republican National Convention Cancelling My Segment Due To Hurricane Isaac

Why the hell do I write you LOSERS! checks if you're not going to put out!?  Just because some storm is bearing down upon you doesn't mean I get bumped!  I am the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse, and what I want I get!  We're trying to defeat Obama here, and you just keep wussing out because of some high-speed winds and a lot of rain!  I can't believe I chose to align myself with LOSERS! like the RNC!

...To RNC Chairman Reince Priebus Cancelling The First Day Of The Republican National Convention In The Face Of Hurricane Isaac

Reince, you LOSER!  By running away with your own teeny-tiny cock up your own ass, you just sent a message to the terrorists that America in general and the future President Mitt Romney in particular are weak and encourage another 9/11!  Granted, all that death and destruction creates jobs for the funeral industry and work for real estate scam artists like myself, but we don't go intentionally instigating it!  At least not when cameras are in the room!  You just gave Obama another term, you LOSER!  I hope you're happy!

...To The Final Medal Count Of The 2012 Summer Olympics

You're probably thinking to yourself that the US won the Olympics by getting 104 medals.  Well, you'd be a LOSER! for thinking that!  That medal count broke down to 46 gold and 29 silver and bronze apiece, which means we had 46 winners and 58 LOSERS!  That's right: second and third place are just fancy words for first and second LOSER!, and we know have people bragging about being crowned LOSERS!  You know why all of my buildings are covered in gold rather than silver or bronze?  Because I'm a winner and gold is a winner metal, while silver and bronze are LOSER! metals and I'm not a LOSER! like the people who got those medals!

And to top it off, there were 256 other gold medals that the other countries won!  What the hell is that about!?  The US should've gotten all the gold medals, but apparently thanks to Obama being in charge we now celebrate being LOSERS!  Those LOSERS! should be flogged and deported for embarrassing the US with their failure!

...To Being Portrayed Negatively In A Campaign Ad For Obama

Have you seen this piece of claptrap?

How dare these LOSERS! suggest that I don't need another $150,000!  Seriously, the more you tax me the less people I employ. Get it?  That means I can't hire any more toadies or flunkies or fair-weather friends or prostitutes or abortionists in case I impregnate the prostitutes or people to shave my genitals or any of the millions of positions we rich people create for you LOSERS! just so you don't have to go begging for handouts anymore, even though you'd much rather do so!  Besides, the poor LOSERS! should be paying all the taxes because it'll motivate them to become winners like me!

...To Chick-Fil-A President & COO Dan Cathy's Recent Comments About Hating Gay People

You know what I call a businessman who intentionally pisses off an entire demographic of potential customers just because he placed his values ahead of his bottom line?  A LOSER!, that's what!  Didn't anybody tell you that the gays have tons upon tons of money that they're just itching to give to people!?  That's why I bought the Miss America pageant (okay, one of the reasons, the other being an annual showcase of potential replacements for my current wife once she turns 35 and I kick her to the curb): to establish a beachhead with the gays so I can sell to them!  And what kind of businessman doesn't have the business open on Sundays?  That's right: a LOSER!  No wonder your VP of public relations killed himself: he couldn't stand working for a great big LOSER! like you and saw no other way out!

I seriously hope they drive you out of business!  Then I can buy it for pennies on the dollar and turn it into Trumptastic Chicken Sandwiches, where the secret sauce is foie gras and the cheese is made from the breast milk of Scandinavian virgins!  And it's served on 24-karat gold plates with fries cooked in dodo fat!  And it'll make me even richer than I am now!  Maybe I'll hire you to mop the floors!

...To Rush Limbaugh Thinking The Dark Knight Rises Is Some Sort Of Bashing Of Mitt Romney

You fat, pillpopping, boy-shtupping LOSER!  How exactly can Mitt Romney be Batman?  Batman drives his own vehicles!

Mitt Romney, on the other hand, doesn't drive himself because wealth creators can hire people to drive them!  Batman, on the other hand, isn't a wealth creator, so that's why he drives his own vehicles!

Also, Batman dates lots and lots of girls, kinda like I do!  Mitt Romney, on the other hand, married the first girl who didn't laugh at him when he asked her out!  What a LOSER!  So if anybody's Batman, it's going to be me, the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse!  Romney doesn't have buildings like Batman does, I do!

...To Being Named "Statesman Of The Year" By The Republican Party Of Sarasota County, Florida

A "statesman!?"  You LOSERS! called me a "statesman!?"  Here's what the comic strip Bloom County said about "statesmen":

After all the capitalism I've engaged in, all the money I've made, all the trophy wives I've gone through like water, these LOSERS! go ahead and call me a "statesman!"  You know, I had some plans to start some businesses in Sarasota County, Florida and create some jobs just to spite Obama, but that's not going to happen now!  No, I'm going to buy up all of Sarasota County, Florida, evict all of you LOSERS! from the place, bulldoze all your crap-shack housing, and turn it into my next luxury gated community Trump Sisyphus-On-The-Glades, where Korbel champagne fountains grace every intersection and the roads are paved with diamonds!  Maybe I'll hire you LOSERS! to be piss boys for all the winners that will be allowed to live there, but that's if you immediately get on your knees, go down on me, and then apologize for calling me a "statesman!"

...To The Supreme Court Upholding Obamacare

It seems that the Supreme Court is full of anti-business LOSERS! who don't understand that the only people who have the right to exist in this nation of ours are businessmen such as myself and the businesses they own and run!  Let's remember that the Supreme Court is made up of a bunch of welfare queens who get to keep their jobs no matter what happens, so unlike those of us who work in the private sector and consequently have to actually do something to create wealth, they can just do whatever the hell they like and damn the price tag?  Don't those LOSERS! know how much of a drain it is on my bottom line to keep employees healthy?  Not only do I have to chip in for their health insurance, but the longer they live, the more money they expect me to pay them simply because they've stuck around for as long as they have!  If they die, I can just keep replacing them with new hires who'll work for whatever piddling pittance I offer them like the LOSERS! that they are because it's either that or become welfare queens like the LOSERS! of the Supreme Court!  I may have to consider getting back in the race for President so we can get rid of the Supreme Court once and for all!

...To Glenn Beck Ripping Anna Wintour A New One

Well, way to show the world just how much of a LOSER! you are, Glenda!  First you manage to get fired from  the only cable channel that would have you, and then you fail to recognize that nobody wants to hear from a LOSER! like that so you start what's essentially a jumped-up YouTube channel, and then you use that jumped-up YouTube channel to go after one of the most powerful people in the world who doesn't even know you exist!  Granted, Anna Wintour can be supremely stuck up--I once tried to show her my genitals but she wasn't impressed like women are supposed to be when they see the genitals of the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse--but she's someone who could have you killed just because she's Anna frickin' Wintour!  The only way they could make fun of her in The Devil Wears Prada and How To Lose Friends And Alienate People was to make a fictional character loosely inspired by her so she wouldn't have them killed!  When I showed her my genitals, her only reaction was to look at one of her flunkies, jerk her head in my direction, and just sashay away while her flunkies Tasered and pepper-sprayed me and held a really large hunting knife to my genitals and told me that they'd cut it off, saute it with garlic and shallots in a Beaujolais reduction, and make me eat it!  If she can do that to the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse, what makes you think she won't have a LOSER! like you disappeared, Glenda?  You've been having too much Mountain Dew and Cheetos, that's your problem!  Go get a job like the rest of us did!  And no, you can't appear on the next season of The Celebrity Apprentice because it's not for LOSERS! like you!

,,,To George Will Calling Me A Bloviating Ignoramus With A Low IQ

Where the hell does that LOSER! George Will get off thinking he's the smartest guy in the room, anyway?  You know what we call people who wear bow ties and glasses and slick back their hair?  LOSERS!  He thinks he's so awesome because he wrote thirteen books on his own and won a Pulitzer Prize and is celebrated among my fellow conservatives, but he's still a LOSER!  He's only had two wives, for Christ's sake!  I've had four, and am looking for a fifth because that's what winners like me do!  And I've had seventeen books ghostwritten for me, because when you're the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse you can afford to pay people to do stuff for you because that's what winners like me do!  One thing's for damned sure: he's never going to appear on The Celebrity Apprentice even though he has a regular job unlike all the winners that I bless with invitations to appear on it!

...To Mitt Romney's Admission Of Secretly Enjoying Science Fiction

When I endorsed Mitt Romney for President, I thought I had recognized a fellow winner in him what with all the money he'd made by running companies into bankruptcy like I did with my casinos.  Now I see that he's just another LOSER! because only LOSERS! read science fiction!  And only the heir to the throne of the kingdom of LOSERS! says it's a guilty pleasure to do so!  Have you ever heard of any science fiction fan becoming a winner?  No, you haven't because they're all LOSERS!  Oh sure, Star Trek might have inspired most of the fun little gadgets we have today like iPads and Kindles and cellphones and both it and Star Wars have generated untold millions of dollars in revenue, but that doesn't mean George Lucas or Gene Roddenberry or anybody else who likes sci-fi are winners like me!  LOSERS! start companies where they actually know what their company does; winners like me start companies that make money, more money, and nothing but money!

And somebody tell Jeri Ryan that I'm in the market for a new wife after I get bored with the current one!  Gotta love those clingy Seven of Nine catsuits!

...To Time Magazine's Breastfeeding Cover Photo

You want to learn how to turn your son into a LOSER!?  You breastfeed him when he's old enough to get a glass out of the cabinet, a bottle of milk out of the refrigerator, and pour himself a drink!  Actually, only LOSERS! pour their own drinks; wealthy winners such as myself pay people to pour drinks for them!  But even bigger LOSERS! are still being breastfed, and only LOSERS! think it's okay to breastfeed kids for that long!  I wasn't breastfed; my mother used to flog me with a bicycle chain while my father wagged his genitals in my face if I so much as asked for a drink of water, and look how I turned out: the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse!  That kid in the photo, on the other hand, is going to try and marry his own mother because she couldn't learn to just pump her breast milk into a glass for the kid to drink just so she could go out into the private sector and earn profit!

...To The Avengers' $207 Million Opening Weekend

If we ever needed more proof that Joss Whedon and Stan Lee are LOSERS!, this pathetic movie would be that proof.  First off, only $207,000,000?  Why is that take something to be celebrated?  I make that for every single episode of The Celebrity Apprentice, the greatest show that has ever aired or will ever air on TV!  I spent that on cufflinks alone last year because I'm so wealthy and awesome!  Call me when you LOSERS! want to start making real money!

And what the hell is the deal with Tony Stark, anyway?  Why would a rich guy like him be fighting people when he can pay someone to fight instead?  Hell, why not just pay off Loki and the Chitauri to go away and leave Earth alone like the LOSERS! that they are?  Why didn't he make that helicarrier his personal yacht, too?  I could build a helicarrier if I wanted to, turning it into a magnificent gold-plated luxury liner with champagne hot tubs and casinos and a hunting preserve, but that LOSER! Nick Fury wanted to use it to promote socialism and not let Manhattan be urban-renewed with that nuclear missile so I could snatch up the property at a low rate and turn the island into a magnificent playground for the ultra-rich winners I associate with?

And as for Maria Hill and Black Widow, they're LOSERS! because they won't even consider my offer of them becoming my next wives!  They think they're too good for me just because they could kick my ass without smudging their makeup or knocking their hair out of place, but I'd just pay a bunch of guys to kick their asses first!

...To Being Mocked By Obama At The White House Correspondents' Dinner

Where does that LOSER! get off making fun of me, anyway?  First it was that LOSER! Seth Meyers making fun of me last year, and now it's someone who think's he's better than me just because he's President of the United States?  I could be President if I wanted to, but that would mean having to live in government housing and taking a severe pay cut in the form of a government paycheck, all of which would be paid for out of my own pocket with taxation!  Who can live on $400,000 a year, anyway?  And an armored limousine, a helicopter, and a 747 to take me wherever I want to go?  I can get all of that on my own, even though it would result in my 95th declaration of bankruptcy, but I can easily recover from that with another bailout paid for with LOSERS!' life savings.

I got news for you, Obama: just because you took out Osama bin Laden like we Republicans refused to do, aided in the successful overthrow of Khadaffi like we Republicans also refused to participate in, and saw Whitey Bulger finally arrested doesn't mean you can make fun of us job creators!  And yes, butlers, maids, Swiss bank employees, courtesans, fixers, wigmakers, and mistresses are all legitimate jobs for the Ownership Society economy!

...To Karl Rove's "American Crossroads: 'Cool'" Ad Bashing Obama

It goes without saying that Karl Rove is a LOSER!  He's fat, he's balding, he wears glasses, he can't dance, he used to be called "Turd Blossom"...and we Republicans expect him to come up with a decent viral video bashing Obama on the grounds that he's a cool dude?  And this is after he tried to make Obama look like James freakin' Bond 007 in another ad!  If that LOSER! Rove had been working for me or appearing on The Celebrity Apprentice, the greatest TV show to ever air or ever will air, he'd've been fired so fast the ham grease on his LOSER! head would spin!  And on top of that, I'd have sex with his wife right in front of him to show him how much of a LOSER! he really is, but there's always that chance he'd actually enjoy it and try to have a threesome with us...with me in the middle.

To top it off, some other LOSER! managed to spoof it within 24 hours, and it's better than Rove's LOSER! attempt:

How the hell are we Republicans supposed to take back the Confederate States of America if we have to deal with LOSERS! like Karl Rove making the propaganda videos?

...To Derek Jeter Becoming A Tenant In Trump Towers At UN Plaza

Who'd have guessed that one of the best baseball players out there is such a stupid LOSER!?  I managed to get that LOSER! to buy an apartment in my signature building Trump Towers At UN Plaza for $17,950,000...and he didn't even blink!  What kind of LOSER! pays that much for 5400 square feet of living space?  I didn't even pay that much for Mar-A-Lago, because I'm a winner who knows that real estate is an investment!  For the price that LOSER! paid me, he could've gotten a 40,000-square foot mansion in Miami Beach complete with its own swimming pool and boat dock...but instead he decides to get a place about the size of the average suburban LOSER!'s crap-shack home!  Is it any wonder why he wears the number 2 on his jersey?  It's because he's a LOSER! and I'm a winner!  Can't wait until his girlfriend Minka Kelly recognizes this and decides she'd rather be Minka Trump instead of Minka Jeter!

...To The Secret Service Prostitution Scandal In Colombia

I don't see why all those LOSERS! are getting upset that those Secret Service agents were paying prostitutes for sex.  How do you LOSERS! honestly think I got married three times: by being suave and debonair and charming?  Hell no, I flashed the cash, and they came running!  Why else would I have had them sign those prenups that gave me the clothes off their backs once I got bored with them?  All of you LOSERS! praise me for doing stuff like that, so why are you bashing those Secret Service agents for wanting to emulate a winner like me?

...To Rick Santorum Dropping Out Of The 2012 Presidential Race

Rick Santorum, you have proven once and for all to the entire nation that you are, have always been, and shall always be a LOSER!  First off, only LOSERS! wear sweater vests.  Ever see me in a sweater vest?  No, because I'm a winner!  Winners wear hand-tailored Armani suits, not sweater vests, and I wear hand-tailored Armani suits.  Second, you kept telling people your exact plans before getting elected; only a LOSER! reveals all of his plans before he gets the job!  Did I tell any of my wives that they'd be getting kicked to the curb shortly after I got bored with them, or that I'd carefully worded the prenups to deny them everything except whatever cheap, ratty sweatsuits they had in the closet when I did so?  No, because I'm a winner!  And why do you only have one wife, anyway?  Sure, Mitt Romney might only have one wife, but at least his religion allows him to have more than one unlike yours.

It's pretty obvious that you've never once spent time in the private sector, for you just didn't have the killer instinct necessary to go through whomever and whatever you have to in order to achieve your goals.  This is why you're a LOSER!  So enjoy your LOSER! life, LOSER!

...To The Paul Ryan Budget

Only a LOSER! who's never once had a real job in the private sector would think this plan has any chance of passing.  Oh, you worked for your family business as a marketing consultant?  My own soft-handed sons and gorgeous daughter worked for me as marketing consultants too, and that's only because I needed a way to turn their trust fund allowances into tax deductions, you LOSER!  "Marketing consultant" is just the term we in the private sector give to anybody we want to give money to for no actual work--and no, that's not the definition of "socialism," either, LOSERS!  Also, why on Earth would you cut the subsidies paid out to the private sector so we can create jobs?  Are you trying to destroy capitalism?  We need those subsidies for our bi-weekly gambling junkets to Macao and Monaco, as well as to bolster the sex tourism industry in the Pacific Rim!  You honestly expected us to pay for that out of our own pockets, you LOSER!?  If the Republicans wind up losing this election and continue all of this international goodwill Obama's been building with stuff like aiding the Libyan rebels, it'll be because of that LOSER! Paul Ryan and his LOSER! budget plan!

...To Gloria Allred And All The LOSERS! Complaining About My Comments To Her On Jenna Talackova

You'd think it would be pretty obvious to all you LOSERS! by now that when you're as rich and as awesome as I am you don't need to learn how to talk to women like they're people like those LOSER! pickup artists would have you believe.  Since money talks, and boy do I have a lot of money, women just fall right in line when I show up and beg to see my genitals; it's why I've had three wives, all of whom are brainless bimbos unlike Gloria, and why I keep dumping them like the LOSERS! they are once I'm done with them for another brainless bimbo.  Why else would I have gotten involved with the Miss Universe beauty pageant when it's become completely obsolete and pointless in the 21st century?  It sure as hell ain't because it's a sound business investment, it's so I can go find my next wife with relative ease without having to drive around looking for those women who whistle at sailors asking "Hey baby, ya wanna go out?"  It's a lesson I hope my soft-handed sons will take to heart, even after I kicked their mothers to the curb with nothing but a demand for alimony even though I was their sugar daddy during the entire marriage.

So again, to all you LOSER! pickup artists out there: being nice to women and sweet-talking them into bed just marks you as a LOSER! because you don't have as much money as I do.  Try getting some money and not spending it on stuff like food and housing; instead spend it on investing in my next real estate project--what, you thought I put up my own money for that?  You never put up your own money in business, you get LOSERS! to do that for you!

...To The Dallas, Texas Tornado Victims

You LOSERS! see nothing but tragedy and disaster in this.  I see a business opportunity that's been a long time coming: to rebuild that LOSER! city into something that's second only in beauty and magnificence and opulence to Atlantic City, the greatest city on Earth!  Now that the tornadoes--which I suspect were sent by Obama to distract everyone from my quest to prove he wasn't born in the United States like I was much in the same way he had Osama bin Laden murdered--have done the necessary demolition work without costing me a dime, I'm announcing my plans for my next real estate venture: the Trump Southfork Oil Ranch Estates gated community!  I'm talking about 23,000-square foot tornado-proof mansions with platinum-plated Greek columns and gold statues of Roy Rogers each sitting on 90 acres of land, each with their own Olympic-size swimming pool full of Cook's champagne, championship golf course seeded with Trumptucky golfing grass, international airport whose runways are paved with jewels, and private hunting grounds filled with the most dangerous game of all: union organizers who keep insisting that the Thirteenth Amendment applies to my employees!  And they'll all surround a light sweet crude oil fountain that also projects a gigantic hologram of my smiling face into the sky!  Get your initial 5% deposit of $24 million in soon to reserve one of these magnificent new homes before they sell out, and you know they'll sell out fast because who doesn't want to live in such magnificence?

...To Everyone Who Played Mega Millions Hoping To Win That $640 Million Jackpot

I just want to say that you're all LOSERS!  Not just because you lost, but because you tried to get rich by playing the lottery!  Even if you won the jackpot, you're still a LOSER! because only LOSERS! think they can get rich that way!  I didn't get rich that way, I got rich by inheriting it from my LOSER! parents!

Why are my parents LOSERS! like you?  Because they worked day and night racking up the bucks, but died before they could enjoy any of it!  What kind of lesson is that to teach my soft-handed sons or my gorgeous daughter?  Inheriting is the purest form of capitalism, and if you disagree then you're a LOSER!

...To MGM Resorts International

I'm not surprised that you LOSERS! decided to stop trying to build a casino in the LOSER! half of the LOSER! state of Massachusetts.  Who builds a casino out in the middle of nowhere, anyway?  Don't even get me started on how Bugsy Siegel essentially invented the city of Las Vegas, for he was a LOSER! and so is Las Vegas.  Las Vegas will never have anything on Atlantic City!  And those Indian casinos like Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun?  If the Manshantucket Pequots and the Mohegans weren't such LOSERS! they'd've centered their ancestral lands near major cities, especially Atlantic City, the greatest city that has ever been built and will ever be built!

Not only are you guys LOSERS! but the people you lure into your casinos are LOSERS! too.  How do I know that they're LOSERS!?  Because you keep showing a profit, that's how!  Casinos make money by LOSERS! making losing bets at the games, and the fact that you have multiple resort casinos around the nation shows that a lot of LOSERS! have come through your doors.  Anybody that comes into my casinos leaves a winner, which is the real reason why the casino division of my empire had to file for bankruptcy twice in five years and not due to gross incompetence like the LOSERS! in the media would have you believe just so they can turn a profit themselves.  So go back to being LOSERS! by scamming LOSERS! into giving you their money so you can keep on expanding throughout the world; winners like me will continue to make winners out of my customers even if it means cutting off my sons' trust funds!

...To The Producers Of The Hunger Games

I got a bone to pick with the people who made this movie The Hunger Games, because this is clearly some left-wing LOSER!'s idea of what my fantastic tenure as President of these United States would be like.  First of all, what kind of name for a country is "Pan Am?"  That was the name of a LOSER! airline that went bankrupt because they were LOSERS!  If I were in charge, the country would be called "the Capitalist States of Trumpmerica," with the capital being my fabulous Mar-A-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida and accessible only to winners who make at least 100 million in Trumpdrachmas a month.  Also, why aren't there any gold-plated buildings in the Capitol?  You need to show your wealth to those LOSERS! in the districts who serve the wealthy as God intended to remind them why they're LOSERS!, so cover all the buildings in gold!  And I wouldn't have had the LOSER! children kill each other for the entertainment of the other LOSERS!, because they'd be down in the acid mines with the other LOSERS! where they belong, and also because my tough-guy sons Donald Junior and Eric would mop the floor with those LOSERS! even if their hands are so soft they get lacerated from picking up anything that isn't wrapped in cashmere padding, and who wants to see that on a regular basis?

I also didn't like the casting.  Who is this "Jennifer Lawrence" girl, and why is she so special that she gets a role that should've gone to my gorgeous daughter Ivanka?  How does being an Academy Award nominee for Best Actress make you special, when "nominee" is just code for "LOSER!"?  And you should've also cast the greatest actor that has ever or will ever come, Gary Busey, in it if you wanted it to be good.  And no, racking up $155 million in the opening weekend doesn't mean it was good, it means you're a LOSER! because I made that much money turning the Our Lady of Mercy Children's Hospital in Hoboken into the Trump Mount Olympus Luxury Condominium Complex complete with champagne hot tubs in every unit.  So you're fired from ever making another movie again!  And don't forget to watch The Celebrity Apprentice!