,,,To The Republican National Convention Cancelling My Segment Due To Hurricane Isaac

Why the hell do I write you LOSERS! checks if you're not going to put out!?  Just because some storm is bearing down upon you doesn't mean I get bumped!  I am the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse, and what I want I get!  We're trying to defeat Obama here, and you just keep wussing out because of some high-speed winds and a lot of rain!  I can't believe I chose to align myself with LOSERS! like the RNC!