You're probably thinking to yourself that the US won the Olympics by getting 104 medals. Well, you'd be a LOSER! for thinking that! That medal count broke down to 46 gold and 29 silver and bronze apiece, which means we had 46 winners and 58 LOSERS! That's right: second and third place are just fancy words for first and second LOSER!, and we know have people bragging about being crowned LOSERS! You know why all of my buildings are covered in gold rather than silver or bronze? Because I'm a winner and gold is a winner metal, while silver and bronze are LOSER! metals and I'm not a LOSER! like the people who got those medals!
And to top it off, there were 256 other gold medals that the other countries won! What the hell is that about!? The US should've gotten all the gold medals, but apparently thanks to Obama being in charge we now celebrate being LOSERS! Those LOSERS! should be flogged and deported for embarrassing the US with their failure!
The richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse tells LOSERS! just how big a LOSER! they are.
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