If we ever needed more proof that Joss Whedon and Stan Lee are LOSERS!, this pathetic movie would be that proof. First off, only $207,000,000? Why is that take something to be celebrated? I make that for every single episode of The Celebrity Apprentice, the greatest show that has ever aired or will ever air on TV! I spent that on cufflinks alone last year because I'm so wealthy and awesome! Call me when you LOSERS! want to start making real money!
And what the hell is the deal with Tony Stark, anyway? Why would a rich guy like him be fighting people when he can pay someone to fight instead? Hell, why not just pay off Loki and the Chitauri to go away and leave Earth alone like the LOSERS! that they are? Why didn't he make that helicarrier his personal yacht, too? I could build a helicarrier if I wanted to, turning it into a magnificent gold-plated luxury liner with champagne hot tubs and casinos and a hunting preserve, but that LOSER! Nick Fury wanted to use it to promote socialism and not let Manhattan be urban-renewed with that nuclear missile so I could snatch up the property at a low rate and turn the island into a magnificent playground for the ultra-rich winners I associate with?
And as for Maria Hill and Black Widow, they're LOSERS! because they won't even consider my offer of them becoming my next wives! They think they're too good for me just because they could kick my ass without smudging their makeup or knocking their hair out of place, but I'd just pay a bunch of guys to kick their asses first!
The richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse tells LOSERS! just how big a LOSER! they are.
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