...To Being Mocked By Obama At The White House Correspondents' Dinner

Where does that LOSER! get off making fun of me, anyway?  First it was that LOSER! Seth Meyers making fun of me last year, and now it's someone who think's he's better than me just because he's President of the United States?  I could be President if I wanted to, but that would mean having to live in government housing and taking a severe pay cut in the form of a government paycheck, all of which would be paid for out of my own pocket with taxation!  Who can live on $400,000 a year, anyway?  And an armored limousine, a helicopter, and a 747 to take me wherever I want to go?  I can get all of that on my own, even though it would result in my 95th declaration of bankruptcy, but I can easily recover from that with another bailout paid for with LOSERS!' life savings.

I got news for you, Obama: just because you took out Osama bin Laden like we Republicans refused to do, aided in the successful overthrow of Khadaffi like we Republicans also refused to participate in, and saw Whitey Bulger finally arrested doesn't mean you can make fun of us job creators!  And yes, butlers, maids, Swiss bank employees, courtesans, fixers, wigmakers, and mistresses are all legitimate jobs for the Ownership Society economy!