...To The Dallas, Texas Tornado Victims

You LOSERS! see nothing but tragedy and disaster in this.  I see a business opportunity that's been a long time coming: to rebuild that LOSER! city into something that's second only in beauty and magnificence and opulence to Atlantic City, the greatest city on Earth!  Now that the tornadoes--which I suspect were sent by Obama to distract everyone from my quest to prove he wasn't born in the United States like I was much in the same way he had Osama bin Laden murdered--have done the necessary demolition work without costing me a dime, I'm announcing my plans for my next real estate venture: the Trump Southfork Oil Ranch Estates gated community!  I'm talking about 23,000-square foot tornado-proof mansions with platinum-plated Greek columns and gold statues of Roy Rogers each sitting on 90 acres of land, each with their own Olympic-size swimming pool full of Cook's champagne, championship golf course seeded with Trumptucky golfing grass, international airport whose runways are paved with jewels, and private hunting grounds filled with the most dangerous game of all: union organizers who keep insisting that the Thirteenth Amendment applies to my employees!  And they'll all surround a light sweet crude oil fountain that also projects a gigantic hologram of my smiling face into the sky!  Get your initial 5% deposit of $24 million in soon to reserve one of these magnificent new homes before they sell out, and you know they'll sell out fast because who doesn't want to live in such magnificence?