You know what I call a businessman who intentionally pisses off an entire demographic of potential customers just because he placed his values ahead of his bottom line? A LOSER!, that's what! Didn't anybody tell you that the gays have tons upon tons of money that they're just itching to give to people!? That's why I bought the Miss America pageant (okay, one of the reasons, the other being an annual showcase of potential replacements for my current wife once she turns 35 and I kick her to the curb): to establish a beachhead with the gays so I can sell to them! And what kind of businessman doesn't have the business open on Sundays? That's right: a LOSER! No wonder your VP of public relations killed himself: he couldn't stand working for a great big LOSER! like you and saw no other way out!
I seriously hope they drive you out of business! Then I can buy it for pennies on the dollar and turn it into Trumptastic Chicken Sandwiches, where the secret sauce is foie gras and the cheese is made from the breast milk of Scandinavian virgins! And it's served on 24-karat gold plates with fries cooked in dodo fat! And it'll make me even richer than I am now! Maybe I'll hire you to mop the floors!
The richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse tells LOSERS! just how big a LOSER! they are.
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