...To Time Magazine's Breastfeeding Cover Photo

You want to learn how to turn your son into a LOSER!?  You breastfeed him when he's old enough to get a glass out of the cabinet, a bottle of milk out of the refrigerator, and pour himself a drink!  Actually, only LOSERS! pour their own drinks; wealthy winners such as myself pay people to pour drinks for them!  But even bigger LOSERS! are still being breastfed, and only LOSERS! think it's okay to breastfeed kids for that long!  I wasn't breastfed; my mother used to flog me with a bicycle chain while my father wagged his genitals in my face if I so much as asked for a drink of water, and look how I turned out: the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse!  That kid in the photo, on the other hand, is going to try and marry his own mother because she couldn't learn to just pump her breast milk into a glass for the kid to drink just so she could go out into the private sector and earn profit!