...To The Producers Of The Hunger Games

I got a bone to pick with the people who made this movie The Hunger Games, because this is clearly some left-wing LOSER!'s idea of what my fantastic tenure as President of these United States would be like.  First of all, what kind of name for a country is "Pan Am?"  That was the name of a LOSER! airline that went bankrupt because they were LOSERS!  If I were in charge, the country would be called "the Capitalist States of Trumpmerica," with the capital being my fabulous Mar-A-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida and accessible only to winners who make at least 100 million in Trumpdrachmas a month.  Also, why aren't there any gold-plated buildings in the Capitol?  You need to show your wealth to those LOSERS! in the districts who serve the wealthy as God intended to remind them why they're LOSERS!, so cover all the buildings in gold!  And I wouldn't have had the LOSER! children kill each other for the entertainment of the other LOSERS!, because they'd be down in the acid mines with the other LOSERS! where they belong, and also because my tough-guy sons Donald Junior and Eric would mop the floor with those LOSERS! even if their hands are so soft they get lacerated from picking up anything that isn't wrapped in cashmere padding, and who wants to see that on a regular basis?

I also didn't like the casting.  Who is this "Jennifer Lawrence" girl, and why is she so special that she gets a role that should've gone to my gorgeous daughter Ivanka?  How does being an Academy Award nominee for Best Actress make you special, when "nominee" is just code for "LOSER!"?  And you should've also cast the greatest actor that has ever or will ever come, Gary Busey, in it if you wanted it to be good.  And no, racking up $155 million in the opening weekend doesn't mean it was good, it means you're a LOSER! because I made that much money turning the Our Lady of Mercy Children's Hospital in Hoboken into the Trump Mount Olympus Luxury Condominium Complex complete with champagne hot tubs in every unit.  So you're fired from ever making another movie again!  And don't forget to watch The Celebrity Apprentice!