I just want to say that you're all LOSERS! Not just because you lost, but because you tried to get rich by playing the lottery! Even if you won the jackpot, you're still a LOSER! because only LOSERS! think they can get rich that way! I didn't get rich that way, I got rich by inheriting it from my LOSER! parents!
Why are my parents LOSERS! like you? Because they worked day and night racking up the bucks, but died before they could enjoy any of it! What kind of lesson is that to teach my soft-handed sons or my gorgeous daughter? Inheriting is the purest form of capitalism, and if you disagree then you're a LOSER!
The richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse tells LOSERS! just how big a LOSER! they are.
March 31, 2012
March 28, 2012
...To MGM Resorts International
I'm not surprised that you LOSERS! decided to stop trying to build a casino in the LOSER! half of the LOSER! state of Massachusetts. Who builds a casino out in the middle of nowhere, anyway? Don't even get me started on how Bugsy Siegel essentially invented the city of Las Vegas, for he was a LOSER! and so is Las Vegas. Las Vegas will never have anything on Atlantic City! And those Indian casinos like Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun? If the Manshantucket Pequots and the Mohegans weren't such LOSERS! they'd've centered their ancestral lands near major cities, especially Atlantic City, the greatest city that has ever been built and will ever be built!
Not only are you guys LOSERS! but the people you lure into your casinos are LOSERS! too. How do I know that they're LOSERS!? Because you keep showing a profit, that's how! Casinos make money by LOSERS! making losing bets at the games, and the fact that you have multiple resort casinos around the nation shows that a lot of LOSERS! have come through your doors. Anybody that comes into my casinos leaves a winner, which is the real reason why the casino division of my empire had to file for bankruptcy twice in five years and not due to gross incompetence like the LOSERS! in the media would have you believe just so they can turn a profit themselves. So go back to being LOSERS! by scamming LOSERS! into giving you their money so you can keep on expanding throughout the world; winners like me will continue to make winners out of my customers even if it means cutting off my sons' trust funds!
Not only are you guys LOSERS! but the people you lure into your casinos are LOSERS! too. How do I know that they're LOSERS!? Because you keep showing a profit, that's how! Casinos make money by LOSERS! making losing bets at the games, and the fact that you have multiple resort casinos around the nation shows that a lot of LOSERS! have come through your doors. Anybody that comes into my casinos leaves a winner, which is the real reason why the casino division of my empire had to file for bankruptcy twice in five years and not due to gross incompetence like the LOSERS! in the media would have you believe just so they can turn a profit themselves. So go back to being LOSERS! by scamming LOSERS! into giving you their money so you can keep on expanding throughout the world; winners like me will continue to make winners out of my customers even if it means cutting off my sons' trust funds!
March 25, 2012
...To The Producers Of The Hunger Games
I got a bone to pick with the people who made this movie The Hunger Games, because this is clearly some left-wing LOSER!'s idea of what my fantastic tenure as President of these United States would be like. First of all, what kind of name for a country is "Pan Am?" That was the name of a LOSER! airline that went bankrupt because they were LOSERS! If I were in charge, the country would be called "the Capitalist States of Trumpmerica," with the capital being my fabulous Mar-A-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida and accessible only to winners who make at least 100 million in Trumpdrachmas a month. Also, why aren't there any gold-plated buildings in the Capitol? You need to show your wealth to those LOSERS! in the districts who serve the wealthy as God intended to remind them why they're LOSERS!, so cover all the buildings in gold! And I wouldn't have had the LOSER! children kill each other for the entertainment of the other LOSERS!, because they'd be down in the acid mines with the other LOSERS! where they belong, and also because my tough-guy sons Donald Junior and Eric would mop the floor with those LOSERS! even if their hands are so soft they get lacerated from picking up anything that isn't wrapped in cashmere padding, and who wants to see that on a regular basis?
I also didn't like the casting. Who is this "Jennifer Lawrence" girl, and why is she so special that she gets a role that should've gone to my gorgeous daughter Ivanka? How does being an Academy Award nominee for Best Actress make you special, when "nominee" is just code for "LOSER!"? And you should've also cast the greatest actor that has ever or will ever come, Gary Busey, in it if you wanted it to be good. And no, racking up $155 million in the opening weekend doesn't mean it was good, it means you're a LOSER! because I made that much money turning the Our Lady of Mercy Children's Hospital in Hoboken into the Trump Mount Olympus Luxury Condominium Complex complete with champagne hot tubs in every unit. So you're fired from ever making another movie again! And don't forget to watch The Celebrity Apprentice!
I also didn't like the casting. Who is this "Jennifer Lawrence" girl, and why is she so special that she gets a role that should've gone to my gorgeous daughter Ivanka? How does being an Academy Award nominee for Best Actress make you special, when "nominee" is just code for "LOSER!"? And you should've also cast the greatest actor that has ever or will ever come, Gary Busey, in it if you wanted it to be good. And no, racking up $155 million in the opening weekend doesn't mean it was good, it means you're a LOSER! because I made that much money turning the Our Lady of Mercy Children's Hospital in Hoboken into the Trump Mount Olympus Luxury Condominium Complex complete with champagne hot tubs in every unit. So you're fired from ever making another movie again! And don't forget to watch The Celebrity Apprentice!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)