...To The Supreme Court Upholding Obamacare

It seems that the Supreme Court is full of anti-business LOSERS! who don't understand that the only people who have the right to exist in this nation of ours are businessmen such as myself and the businesses they own and run!  Let's remember that the Supreme Court is made up of a bunch of welfare queens who get to keep their jobs no matter what happens, so unlike those of us who work in the private sector and consequently have to actually do something to create wealth, they can just do whatever the hell they like and damn the price tag?  Don't those LOSERS! know how much of a drain it is on my bottom line to keep employees healthy?  Not only do I have to chip in for their health insurance, but the longer they live, the more money they expect me to pay them simply because they've stuck around for as long as they have!  If they die, I can just keep replacing them with new hires who'll work for whatever piddling pittance I offer them like the LOSERS! that they are because it's either that or become welfare queens like the LOSERS! of the Supreme Court!  I may have to consider getting back in the race for President so we can get rid of the Supreme Court once and for all!

...To Glenn Beck Ripping Anna Wintour A New One

Well, way to show the world just how much of a LOSER! you are, Glenda!  First you manage to get fired from  the only cable channel that would have you, and then you fail to recognize that nobody wants to hear from a LOSER! like that so you start what's essentially a jumped-up YouTube channel, and then you use that jumped-up YouTube channel to go after one of the most powerful people in the world who doesn't even know you exist!  Granted, Anna Wintour can be supremely stuck up--I once tried to show her my genitals but she wasn't impressed like women are supposed to be when they see the genitals of the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse--but she's someone who could have you killed just because she's Anna frickin' Wintour!  The only way they could make fun of her in The Devil Wears Prada and How To Lose Friends And Alienate People was to make a fictional character loosely inspired by her so she wouldn't have them killed!  When I showed her my genitals, her only reaction was to look at one of her flunkies, jerk her head in my direction, and just sashay away while her flunkies Tasered and pepper-sprayed me and held a really large hunting knife to my genitals and told me that they'd cut it off, saute it with garlic and shallots in a Beaujolais reduction, and make me eat it!  If she can do that to the richest, most awesome man in the quantum multiverse, what makes you think she won't have a LOSER! like you disappeared, Glenda?  You've been having too much Mountain Dew and Cheetos, that's your problem!  Go get a job like the rest of us did!  And no, you can't appear on the next season of The Celebrity Apprentice because it's not for LOSERS! like you!